Every morning this week, as I've stood before my bathroom mirror preparing for the day, I've been assessing my reflection and pumping myself up to do a broadcast on Facebook LIVE. Between brushing my teeth and applying mascara, I've been thinking, you can do this. You can this.
But still, I haven't pressed that shiny red button.
Why not? Why am I procrastinating and making excuses to avoid going LIVE? Let's be real here:
Putting yourself out there is SCARY.
What if I look stupid? What if I make a mistake? What if no one watches? What if I go live and pause to take a sip of coffee on camera in an attempt to gather myself and I spill my Caramel Machiatto all over my dress, drop the phone, swear like a sailor, and spend the next day eating my feelings and hiding under the covers nursing a shame-hangover?
I bet you know the feeling. It goes like this:
- You have an instinct to do something.
- You have a clear thought that tells you to, make that phone call. Ask the question. Walk over there.
- Then, your brain and your ego jump in and talk you out of it.
Join me in a little exercise here.
I promise, it'll only take a minute.
- Imagine in your mind's eye a person that you admire, look up to, or envy for any reason. It can be anyone-- a boss, a celebrity, a family member, etc. Just pick one.
- Take a few seconds to think of all the ways you are different from that person. Did you roll your eyes, *sigh*, or suddenly feel overwhelmed or under-accomplished? That's okay. I did too.
- Now, switch gears and think of the things that you have in common with that person. Here's a few basic things I came up with for my person:
- We are both people who value hard work.
- Both of us make decisions every day, about all sorts of things.
- Both of us eat food.
- Both of us have to talk to people at work in order to do our jobs.
- Both of us like technology.
(These aren't the ONLY things we have in common, but the point is to recognize the things that connect us, instead of focusing on the characteristics that separate us. See?)
4. Here's the cool part. Envision the person you admire again, but this time, rewind your mental image by 10 or 20 years, until you see them at the beginning of their journey. Do you think, realistically, there was anything he or she hesitated to do back then?
- Did she get nervous butterflies in her stomach before speaking up in a big meeting, too?
- Did he, too, hesitate to go to the gym because exercise is hard?
- Did she almost say something, but didn't?
I can guarantee you that EVERY SINGLE HUMAN that you envy or admire has hesitated at least once in their lives.
They've paused and thought, never mind. He's ignored his initial gut instinct about a situation or person. She's resisted taking action because she "just didn't feel like doing it."
But, when she'd finally had enough of her own excuses, she pushed past the discomfort, and got shit done.
The outcome might've been crappy, or the outcome might've been fantastic, but that doesn't matter. The point is that SHE DID THE THING THAT SCARED HER.
- What is the one thing you want to do, but haven't yet? What goal do you have that seems really far from being your reality?
- What's it going to take for YOU to push through and do something about it?
- What's one (just one!) small physical action you can take TODAY to get one step closer to your goal(s)? (Seriously, I want to know what you're thinking. Leave a comment below so we can all share.)
As of this afternoon, that shiny red Facebook LIVE button is still intimidating me. I'm admittedly afraid that the more visible I become in the world, the more criticism I will receive, and I don't know how much criticism I can take before I crack.
BUT I've also decided that in order to grow--as a business owner, a friend, writer, daughter, and partner--I MUST put myself out there. There's no way around it.
And I know in my heart that I'm not the kind of woman that's going to consciously settle for good enough, when I know I'm capable of AWESOME.
I guess when you want something bad enough, the scary things standing in your way don't change.